about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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