Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
