I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
