come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize