Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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