My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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