So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
