Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
