I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
where am i from again
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
