i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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