I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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