Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
