We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
