so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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