Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
