I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
