He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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