I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Randomize
