One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
