So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
