and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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