nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
