Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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