dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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