May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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