There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
