Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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