What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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