That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
