I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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