I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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