there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
