If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The uberlube is also flammable
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
