Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and she was petting her beer can
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize