dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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