The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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