i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
