He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
