new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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