Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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