HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
