I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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