Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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