i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
