hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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