I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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