i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize