; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
