it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize