i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
