He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize