Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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