I need help removing her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
