I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
did you just send me my own nude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
