Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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