Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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