craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
