is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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