theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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