I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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