yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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