just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
