Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
