she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
