She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
